Saturday, November 12, 2005
11/12/2005 09:43:00 AM
-Screams , yells and wails-
``__save meeeeeeeee! ="(
Slept at 8am in the morning ytd and woke up at 2pm.
After waking up and preparation, i went over to mabel's house to help out.
Prepared things and food for the coming bbq later in the evening.
After that we took uncle's van to east coast for the bbq.
Eric and Fiona took almost 2 hrs to set up the fire. Lol
and making Mabel , Lili and i to starve there but...
fortunately, there's some cook food. Uncle's culinary skills is damn nice.
We smell the aroma of the food from mable's hse till the pit. >.>
-drooling and cant wait to have it-
we left the pit at ard 12 30am.
Uncle sent each of us back to home. so nice of him..
now here comes the bad things..
Today is a strange and sad day for me.
Truly speaking i didnt enjoy myself.
My mind is in a mess and i kept thinking of stuff.
Didn't even talk much to baby today..
Just seems like there's a wall in between of us.
We just can't seems to get close.
Trying to sort up my thoughts, i actually bursted out into tears.
why am i this way? i dont understand.
I really need someone there for me..
I need a hug, i want to be doted .
I need a shoulder but im all alone.
I wanna be fine but i just can't.
Drank few bottles of heniken just now..
Felt better and cry out my heart.
But deep inside im feeling bitter.
i ain't drank at all, not even getting dizzy,
Just feels that no matter how much i drink today..
i can't get drunk...
My heart is like in pieces and i can't get in back in a whole.
I don't knw what im doing and what i should really do?
Please, someone pls... lead me.
Give me a vivid answer of what i should do.. lead me..
-swings the white flag-
i surrender to my life.
Yes, im implusive..
But all that shouldn't been done was done..
what can i do... what can i do?!
im confused, im frustrated, im in dilemma..
Why am i always causing problems for no reasons.
Pls wake up, Qini!
wake up... know where u are .. where u are leading to..
THINK before u do.
Just like what pple say..
i used to go with my heart and not with my brain..
Think before u get into conclusion.
Whatever.. i feel weak now.